It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
