Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
