people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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