She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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