she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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