He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
