Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
