We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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