Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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