Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
