The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
