just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
