I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
