he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
