So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
my liver is dry heaving
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
