Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
