Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
