I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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