return my video game
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
