what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
