Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
