Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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