OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
