You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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