just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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