I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
