I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
