Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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