Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
