Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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