Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
