I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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