I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
