This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
