Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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