Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think i have two assholes
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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