That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
