Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
