we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
