dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
