Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i barfeds in our rink
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
