How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
