You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
