I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
