I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
