She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
