Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
