seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
