Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
