I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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