I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
my poor anus
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
