I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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