i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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